Last week I was looking for suggestions of new blog topics on the new Instagram Questions feature, one of the questions I got through was:
So here are the things I worried about before the baby was even born.
Pre-pregnancy the main things I was worried about were a) fertility and b) am I ready to do this.
We’ve known people who’ve lost babies mid-term and struggled to get pregnant, so we knew there was always the possibility things wouldn’t run smoothly. We were very lucky that it run smoothly and we’re very grateful that it did but of course you worry that your knackers might not work – nobody wants to find out that they can’t give their partner a child. Those worries will be on both sides and can cause a lot of stress. It was important for the two of us to try and not put pressure on each other and we agreed if either of us were worried about anything we’d talk about and seek whatever advice we needed.
I also worried if I was ready to do this, to be a dad. Just because you’d decided you want to be a parent, doesn’t mean you won’t worry if you’d be a good one.
Once C was pregnant, my worries changed. My main worry then became about their (C and the baby’s) health. Each scan was exciting but also brought questions and worries. I will say though that the staff we had at all our appointments were fantastic and answered our questions which really helped. And that’s another key thing, don’t be afraid to ask if there is anything you’re unsure of.
Pregnancy causes so much change (obviously) and this puts so much pressure on your partner. Physically, hormonally and psychologically. That type of change will always cause some level of worry but it’s important to just be there and support them. I found taking some time to try and understand what was going on during each phase and week of pregnancy really helped and meant I started to work out where I could help and where I couldn’t.
As the due date got closer and things were getting the all clear in terms of C and the baby’s health, my worries then turned back to me. Was I going to be good at this? Was it the right time? Are we going to be ok money-wise? We were incredibly lucky that everything was fine, there are so many parents and babies out there where it isn’t, and my heart goes out to each and every one of them.
But by that point though there’s nowt you can do about those worries you may have about yourself, all you can do is to just get on with being as supportive as possible for your partner and keeping in mind that you’ll change and adjust to whatever happens. Because that’s what parents do.
So there we are, I hope that answers your anonymous question and gives an insight in to the worries I had in the lead up to the bairn arriving. I can’t wait for your own bairn to arrive, exciting!
I’d be really interested in finding out if any other dads out there had the same or different worries to me pre-baby, let me know in the comments below or give me a shout out on any of my social media profiles.
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