Being an INFJ and what it means for my style of parenting

A few years ago now I had to do the Myers-Briggs personality test as part of a personal development thing at work. After filling in the survey it spat out that I was an ‘Advocate’ or INFJ if for those of you who know it. According to http://www.16personalities.com this puts me in the same category as MLK, Aragorn from LOTR and Aramis. Go figure.

To try and summarise, “Advocates have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is that they are not idle dreamers”. Basically, I’ll get on my high horse about stuff but I’ll also burn myself out over it; “the passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point”.

Anyway, I re-did the test recently to see if a) being a parent had changed my result and b) what my result would say about me as a parent. I got the same result so here’s what is says about Advocates as parents tend to do:

  • Look to instill a strong sense of right and wrong in their child
  • Push their child to think independently, make their own choices and develop their own beliefs
  • Can have trouble with their child’s more rebellious phases, especially if the argument is a clash of values. Sometimes taking this a little too personally.
  • Encourage their child to fight for what they believe and strive to be the best they can be
  • Eventually, realise that conflicts with their child as they grow are a sign of raising someone who has learned to form their own ideals

I guess, I’d like to think that most of that is how I would parent the bairn as he grows. Particularly in that I do want him to grow up and have his own views. By the time he’s doing that the world will be completely different to how it is now so his views shouldn’t be exactly the same as mine.

I can also definitely see some of it in the way we do parent him already. He show empathy for people/characters in his books if they’re sad, he looks after his doll and other toys really gently and will, if you tell him, realise he’s done something naughty and say sorry (normally a kiss).

All things we’re genuinely proud that he will do. Now, these might all just be a really cute phase but I’d like to think considering how amazing his mam is that they are some of his personality traits being set in already.

Just a quick note though, if he grows up to be a alt-right, fascist or even a Tory; I’m not sure I’ll be able to get over that and see it as a success that he’s chosen them as his own ideals.

All the quotes in this article are taken from www.16personalities.com, that’s also where I completed the test this time round.

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